I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize