HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well you can't waste a boner
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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