So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
