There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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