Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
