Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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