Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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