Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
