its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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