I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize