very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize