Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
