Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
