Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
