You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
