So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
