I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize