My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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