At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
