What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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