drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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