you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
