...so i touched it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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