you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
