I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
