i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We need to rekindle our bromance
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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