I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
