And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
