Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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