He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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