he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
