what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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