You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
