were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
