Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize