I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
