So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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