she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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