So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
