that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she peed on how many people?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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