Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
