you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
