im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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