How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize