you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
