I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
