Porn is love you can see.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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