he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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