FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
