If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
