You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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