god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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