So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
