Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
