in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My liver just broke up with me...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
