Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
