at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
only you would photoshop your dick
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
