Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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