I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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