obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize