drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
