He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No subtext here. People are naked.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I AM VODKA MAN
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
