My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
