Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
