maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
