The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
