TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
