I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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