Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
