alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
