Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
